Ways To Be a Little Happier Every Day
I’ve been very interested in the specific actions, not just the mindsets, but the actions that lead to feeling happier because at the time, feeling happy was tough for me. It was something that had always come easy and all of a sudden I just couldn’t tap into it. Do share a happy status with your friends and family to make them happy.
So I tried dozens of different exercises and really settled on three that were head and shoulders above the rest in terms of immediately changing the way that I felt. So whether or not you’re struggling with happiness today or you would just like to feel a little bit happier every day because why not, I want to share these exercises with you because they are truly powerful. First off, create space for your brain to subconsciously solve problems. Now I gotta explain that because what a lot of people don’t realize is that we spend a lot of our time engaged in active problem-solving.
We’re thinking about the future, we’re thinking about the past, there’s some kind of problem we want to solve or we’re just passively absorbing media, really, whether it’s from your computer screen, your phone, wherever, you’re being stimulated in some way or you’re directing your brain. What we don’t realize is that our brain sometimes works best when left to their own devices when we just get the space to unwind and I realized this because when I was going through break up, I’m a writer and one of the first things I did was write all my feelings, get rid of them.
That’s helpful but what I didn’t realize was going to happen and the reason I’ve continued freewriting since is that I started solving problems I didn’t realize that I had at the time. I go into a free writing thing and come out with some sort of business solution for Charisma on Command or I’d realize I feel like, “You know, I haven’t done jiujitsu in a while and that’s really bothering me because I said that was important to me.
In any of that, what I started realizing is that we have these subconscious pebbles in our shoe if you will, and while they don’t always bubble up to conscious level, they bother us and they weigh on us so when giving yourself time to realize what those are and then solve them through something like freewriting which if you don’t know what it is, it’s just taking 10 minutes or so to write about 750 words three pages — there are applications that are linked to that you can do it.
That gives you your subconscious brain permission to say, “Hey, we gotta deal with this stuff.” and then fix it and it’s incredible how much it helps. I really recommend freewriting but if you’re not a writer you can also take a long walk, you can go for a run, you can do traditional meditation. A lot of these things can help tremendously so that’s the first one. The second piece and the third piece are related to gratitude because, in just about every credible scientific study of happiness, gratitude ranks among the top things that you can do to feel happier but there’s not a lot of good exercise for actually doing it.
It’s just write down five things that you’re grateful for and I found that wasn’t really connecting with me but connected with me was, as really horrible as it sounds, was imagining the worst-case scenario — was negative gratitude. So instead of just saying I’m thankful for my health, I would say imagine that you went to the doctors today and you walked in and he did a test. He said, “I’m sorry. We just looked at your results and it appears like you have cancer and it’s likely to be terminal,” and then I would sit with that or instead of just saying, “I’m thankful for living with my friends and spending time with my friends,” I’d say, “Okay right now my friends are abroad.
What if their plane crashed and they were gone?” that creates a visceral fear in me and I would sit with that for 30 seconds, a minute, whenever, playthrough like, I know this sounds really morbid, but as the funeral and that would take me to a place that when I stop and I went, “I’m thankful to live with my friends. Holy cow! That feels amazing!” and not only does the gratefulness sink in but all of a sudden all of your other problems whether it’s a breakup, something going on with your business, or somebody’s being mean to you — they seem so petty.
Your training your brain to really put things in perspective. You don’t want to do this every minute of every day. I’m not asking you to constantly do this but for one moment a day as you’re doing these exercises to do this, I found it really helped me tap into honest gratitude. And then the third thing, once I get there, where I’m like, “Wow,” like things are amazing, I’ll take it to the next level like not only are my friends not in a plane crash but I get to live with them, I get to hang out with them, I get through all this cool stuff. Then when I’m feeling really good, I extend that gratitude to people that I especially am feeling envious of.
And to give a quick example of someone that I may feel envious of — I love music. I’ve been playing guitar for 10-12 years. I just started learning piano and I’ve been trying to sing for like three years now and I’ve moved from horrible screeching terrible to mediocre and that means that when I see people that seem to do it effortlessly especially when they’re younger and they break onto the scene. There’s a moment of I like that song but, “Man, that fat guy. Screw him. It’s just not fair,” and what that does is — that sort of thought pattern can become a habit and you can start to see it in other areas of life.
So rooting it out is going to help you be much happier and what I’ll do here is, “Okay, I really like his music but I’m jealous. Shawn Mendes, kid sings great.” I’ll go, “You know what? That’s amazing — that he gets to travel the world and express himself musically for so many people that his full-time job is to just get better and better and better at that.” That is amazing, that’s so cool for him, or if I see someone that has anything — it doesn’t have to be someone that I’m jealous of. My friends are traveling I don’t want to travel but I know that’s really great for them — that they get to travel. They’ve been wanting to do this for so long. You train yourself.
You do five things that you’re grateful for and the opposite but then five things that other people have that you don’t have a reason to be grateful for but just try to tap into that gratefulness for them anyway. It can feel hard at first but go through this practice and what you become is really incredibly charismatic. This is tough for me but if you can really be the guy or the girl who is out there and is genuinely happy when good things happen to other people like filled to the brim, man, that’s the kind of person other people want to be around and it just gives you so much more happiness in the world to tap into and have yourself.
So I hope that you guys do these things. If you want to roll them all into one concrete thing that takes 10-20 minutes, go to the apps in the description, and do your freewriting. Just, you know, let yourself write, brain dump, get things out, solve some problems, then at the end do two or three minutes of this negative gratitude where you’re only going to write down five things but you’re going to sit actually and you’re gonna think about, “Man, would be the opposite of this be?” and really associate with that and then be grateful for the things that you have and then when you’re feeling good like, “My life is so fortunate.
Not only these bad things aren’t happening but I wasn’t born in the fifth century,” that like there’s just so much to be grateful for just about every person in the world especially those of us who can watch have leisure time to watch Youtube then you go and you spread that gratitude to other people. It takes about 20 minutes, 10-20 minutes a day and if you do that, you will find that you condition yourself to be happier all the time. So I hope you guys found this helpful.